I used to live with Marco in Italy, years and years ago. He always seemed to be working hard on something. I felt like a real bum by comparison.

Early last year we started a project together – transforming a short story I wrote into a short film. I would take care of the screenplay and he would take care of everything else. Marco’s goal is to shoot in March.

Today he wrote me. “Hey Matt. I haven’t received any update yet and it’s really frustrating me…”

Oh God. I know. I’ve been waiting to hear this from him. It finally happened. The truth is that I’ve been having a really hard time. Not just this month but the whole of last year. I can’t write! I can’t do it!!! So I understand why he’s frustrated with me and it’s been eating me up.

The whole day it’s been running through my head. I’m an unreliable shit bag. I’m holding things up. What is my problem? Why is this taking me so long?!

When I got home from work I made myself dinner. Then I lay down on my couch and turn my head to find the TV.

And then I found out that this is what happened on Episode 5, Season 19 of the Bachelor. So Jordan showed up. She was kicked out on the second episode of this season. She was just drunk all the time, so she showed up and asked for a second chance. Well, all the other girls in the Bachelor mansion just hated it. Everyone was just so pissed that Chris would even consider bringing her back. And rightfully so. In the end, Chris did the right thing by sending her away. I got to say, Chris is a bit of a doofus. He seems nice enough, but maybe he’s really dumb.

Chris and Carly go on a one-on-one date to this love-guru-retreat place. The love guru asks them to slowly undress one another and Carly isn’t handling being so forward so fast very well. She tells Chris that she’s feeling uncomfortable. Chris says he feels the same way. Then Carly gets on top of Chris and they breathe in each others faces for a while. Then they kiss. The very best part is when Chris gets blindfolded and Carly rubs a chocolate covered strawberry on his lips, trying to weasel the berry into his mouth. Chris eventually opens the mouth he has and eats the strawberry. Good boy.

Chris and Britt go on a one on one date in a hot air balloon. Britt is pretty, I think. Or maybe it’s all the makeup she’s wearing. When Chris wakes Britt up to tell her they have to leave she’s already wearing loads of make-up. All the other girls in the house talk about how Britt does not ever shower or take her make-up off. So maybe she’s hiding something. I’m very curious. I’ll be watching next week, for sure.

Then before the Rose Ceremony, Kelsey sneaked into Chris’ room to tell him about her dead husband, whose name is Sanderson. The way they edited this whole part made it seem like maybe Kelsey was making the story up, just to gain some sympathy from Chris. Things got super super weird and Kelsey seems like a real weirdo.

At the Rose Ceremony Chris began to cry and excused himself. Kelsey got very nervous and got up and left and then collapsed claiming it to be a panic attack. And that’s how the show ended – on a real cliff hanger.

I’ve never watched the Bachelor before, but I am loving it.

One Comment

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  1. Nice portrait ideed


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