I wrote a story about running into Dr. Mowat many many years ago, many many years after his daughter and I had broken up. It was essentially about how he didn’t recognize me at first and how I thought he was putting that on.
I put that story on the internet and when his daughter read it she wrote to me, asking that I should take it down. I didn’t, but I changed his name. Anyway, the story wasn’t really fair. I said I didn’t like him as much as her mother. That part was true. I knew her much better and she was someone I genuinely felt comfortable around. I cared for her mother. But I should’ve said that I liked him. In fact he is really, truly quite likable. But, I had written this thing for dramatic effect and maybe it was mean. Maybe he had seen it.
Today, when I recognized him standing next to me at the Italian Center, I got very nervous. I got very very nervous and my heart was pounding and my brain thought it would be best for me to take flight. I just wanted to get away from him. The guilt! I just could not handle the guilt I was feeling. I made for the till and in order to do so I had to sneak past him, as he shopped for pasta shells. I ducked a bit, crossing his path, and very quietly said, “Scue me.”