Lady With the Dog on the Loose


There’s a dog on my walk that always runs up to me and barks. His dog house is in the front yard and he’s never chained. I think that’s probably not even legal. Anyway, the first couple times it happened I was frightened and after it happened enough I told my supervisor that there was a loose dog that chases after me.

My supervisor, Dane, paid a visit and was also chased down. He said the lady started crying when he approached her. “He won’t bite. He just likes to sniff legs.” That’s her catch-phrase. “He just likes to sniff legs.”

I’ve been on the same route for the last 7 months and she’s still telling me that same thing, like she doesn’t recognize me from the day and weeks before.

She kept the dog inside for a couple weeks, but now it’s on the loose again. Every day he barks and runs me down. I know now that he won’t bite but it’s still slightly startling, so I pause and let him sniff legs.

“He just barks. He won’t bite. He just likes to sniff legs. He just wants to sniff legs.” That line makes me feel so gross. She runs her limp hand up her leg. She’s got that kind of mouth that seems like there are way too many teeth in there.

“Is that right?” I pretend like I’ve never heard it. Keeps things fresh between us.

“Any mail for us?” She asks.

“No.” I lie and keep walking.

Anyway. That lady sucks.

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