Maria the E-Mail Lady

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Every now and again I get an email for a Matt Prins in Michigan. It’s almost always from his workplace. They have my email on file and haven’t bothered to correct it, no matter how many times I’ve told them, “This is actually one of the Matt Prins’ who lives in northern Canada. The Matt Prins who exists in your reality does not exist at the other end of this email address.” Mine, by the way, is matt.prins@gmail.com. I’m guessing his is probably mattprins@gmail.com.

Anyway, here’s the email I got for Matt Prins today. “Hi Matt. I just wanted to follow-up with you in regards to benefit enrollment. If you could start thinking about benefits and gather information for any family members you wish to list as a beneficiary for the company paid life insurance plans. I would like to schedule a benefit orientation with you this Friday afternoon.”

I said, in what I thought was a very straight forward statement, “Hi. I think you have the wrong email address.”

And then she said, “Hi Matt, I found this email address in your former employment application since it was not listed in the new one. Can you please tell me your correct email address? Thank you.”

What? So she’s emailing me for my real email address? What did she think I meant by “You have the wrong email address?”

“It’s fartbag69@yahoo.com

“Thank you Matthew!” she responded.

I wanted to say “You’re welcome,” but I had to get to work.

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