The Doctor and the Pharmacist (2)


Those pills didn’t really help my tonsillitis. The things got less puffy but a couple days after the pills ran out they puffed up real, real big. I’m just a disgusting bag of crud right now.

When the doctor took a peek inside he told me, “There’s food all over them. Maybe that’s the problem.”

“Really? Food?” I made sure to drink a bunch of water after I chewed up those after-work crackers.

“Yeah. It’s food on them.”

“Oh,” I said, ashamed.

“Do you have asthma?”


“Do you have congestion?”

“Yeah. I’m always stuffed up. I’ve been stuffed up for years.”

“I will prescribe for you some inhaler that has steroids in it.”

Steroids. Oh man. Will I finally have the ripped bod I’ve always dreamed of having? Maybe tonsillitis is a blessing in disguise. Or maybe it’ll just shrink up my testes.

The pharmacist called my name. “Matthew?” He clearly recognized me. “You were here not so long ago.”

“Yeah. I got some pills that didn’t work that well.” I felt bad after I said that. Maybe it hurt his feelings.

“Have you ever used a nasal spray?”


“Then you know it is important to not stick it directly up your nose, but to the side. If you point it to your ears, this is a good way.”


“Point to your left ear.” He demonstrated by sticking the capped spray in his left nostril. “And then, on this side, point to your right ear,” he followed through with his demonstration. “It is very important you do not stick straight up into your nose for fear of deteriorating your septum.”

“Ok.” I said a little worried.

He repeated his directions, “Point to your left ear, point to your right ear. And if you have a little dripping from the nose, you can wipe away with a tissue.”

“Oh sure.” That part was easy.

UPDATE: I’ve discarded the pharmacist’s advice and have been using the back of my hand to wipe away the little dripping from my nose.

One Comment

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  1. I have steroid nasal spray for this too and no one ever told me about this point-away trick. I just shoot it straight up my nose and pretend I’m doing coke.


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