Myself (2)

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When I woke up on my couch I reached for my phone and looked at my Facebook and Instagram accounts for an hour. Then I made a pot of coffee and drank the entire thing while I played Nintendo.

A few hours later, when I decided that I should eat something, I got up and farted a little. A soft lil fart. I stood still and tried to push all the gas out.

“I think I’m farting.” I told myself, not completely convinced, there was something a little eerie about this one. I stuck my hand down the back of my pants and looked at my fingers. That pot of coffee came out of my butt.

“Sick.”

I went to the washroom, pulled down my pants and shook my head. “My favourite pair of underwear…”

And that was the time that a 33 year old man shat himself on Good Friday and bragged about it on the internet.

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