Cancel My Thing Guy


Oh yeah. I have to cancel that 12.99 a month thing that guy signed me up for yesterday. I find the number from the service in my junk mail and dial.

“Piece of Shit Company. How can I help you?”

“Hi. I’d like to cancel the subscription I have.”

“Ok. Would you mind telling me why you’d like to cancel?”

“Yeah. I just don’t think I need your service.”

“Ok. That’s fair. But sir, do you realize that identity theft occurs every day or some kind of statistic like that?”

“I’m sure it does but I’m not that worried about it.”

“Well. Can I please beg you to stay with us even though you don’t seem to be as paranoid as most of our clients?”

“No. I just want to cancel.”

“Can I ask you why, sir?”

“Well I kind of said already. I don’t think I need you to protect me from Identity Theft. I mean the odds of that happening are pretty slim. And even if it did happen to me, what could you do? Get my identity back? It’s all about money, and my bank is pretty good about stolen credit cards and fraud.”

“Ok. Fair enough. But I see here that you just signed up for this service yesterday. Could I encourage you to try out the month for free… ”

“No. Just cancel it.” These fuckers.

“Alright. No problem. Thank you for your time and have a nice day.”

“Eat shit.”

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