Fig Newton Girls


Reed, Andy and I walked from one bar to the next. On the way Andy walked up to a couple girls and asked if he could eat their Fig Newtons. They said sure. “This is my buddy, Matt, from Canada,” he introduced me to the short, skinny, red-head girl who, naturally, reminded me of my ex – Laurie. The girl wanted nothing to do with me. I don’t think she even said anything in return. She might’ve even taken a step back.

Reed talked to the other girl who seemed much friendlier. Andy kept on with the Red Head. And I stood to the side and smiled nicely. They passed a few more cookies out and all the while Andy persisted – these girls  had to know I was from out of town. He was trying to get me laid but I don’t think he knows how to read people’s faces. “My buddy, Matt, here, he’s from Canada.” He said it two more times, bless him.

I wanted to say, “Nobody cares!” But that would be rude. I just got here and it was nice, what he was trying to do for me. But Andy, come on. Nobody gave a single fuck.

I passed around the chocolate bar I had in my bag from the airport. The nice brunette took some and the Red Head passed on the offer. When the conversation died, they suggested we go inside, get our drinks and then they’d meet us in there.

Reed, Andy, and I danced with each other for about 10 minutes before we finished our drinks. Then we decided we should get going home.


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