The 4 hour Bachelor finale was on. By the third hour we started making out. I had so kindly folded out the futon ahead of time, thinking this might happen.
We took off each other’s clothes and I repeated a line from the Bachelor, that I had heard just an hour beforehand, “I’m nervous. I’m shaking.” Whitney said it first.
Jordan has likened me to Chris Soules, the Bachelor. We’re both farm boys, we’re both 33, we’re both idiots. “You need yourself a Whitney,” she said while we were kissing.
“No. I don’t.” I said it because I find Whitney extremely annoying. Her voice is so grating. “I really, really don’t.” I never thought that she might be referring to herself as Whitney. They’re both blonde, pretty, professional gals. I doubt she was referring to herself as Whitney, but maybe she was. At any rate, I shut the idea down and we continued making out. So no harm, no foul.
When it sounded like something juicy was happening sometimes we’d pause and take a peek at the TV.
“She looks good,” Jordan said about Whitney.
“Yeah…” I smartened up. “She does.”
In the final half hour of the show, while Whitney and Chris were discussing making babies, I got up and said, “I can’t listen to this. It’s throwing me off.”
And then we had unprotected sex a couple times.